This precise day seven years ago, somebody broke my heart. I was hurt and I was lonely. For the next couple of years, I hated the 27th day of May because it would always remind me of the pain, the tears and the humiliation that I once felt.
But now, things have changed. In reality, I’ve become very thankful for what happened seven years ago. It paved the way for me to be with a better the best person who loves me and makes me happy. Someone I really deserve.
Talk about a gargantuan rainbow after a silly drizzle.
This job hunting thing is seriously depressing.
Being lost is an understatement for what I’m experiencing right now. I’m very torn between looking for a job that aligns with my college degree, and a job that is slightly off the target but has a higher salary. Choosing the first option would give me some sort of assurance that my college education did not go to waste, whether or not I’m happy with the job. The second option would place me in a completely different world, but one that has a higher salary, which is very practical.
I’ve rejected quite a few job applications because they’re driving me nuts. I don’t know if, somewhere along the way, I’d already rejected the perfect job for me. I don’t know if I should continue waiting. I have no idea which way to go. If the universe would give me a sign, then this would be the right time.
What do you tell your cousin whose boyfriend has just recently died?
This scene isn’t at all new. We’ve all been privy to these cutesy and emotional stories all over the Web about teenagers whose boyfriends/girlfriends passed away. We’ve all seen how they cry and throw fits about it. We’ve all given a momentary pause to think about it then forget about it and move on to a more interesting blog. That’s what I usually do in such cases. So when the same thing occurred to someone so close to me, I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just ignore what she wrote, could I?
My 15-year-old cousin and her boyfriend had been together for three or four years. Her boyfriend was a sickly boy; aside from having a weak and problematic heart, he also had a tumor. He’s no stranger to the operating room. Last night, he could feel that he wouldn’t survive his surgery so he said goodbye to my cousin. He was right. He died a few hours later.
The news broke my cousin’s heart. She’s been crying all night. Because of her raging teenage hormones, she’s depressed to the point of being suicidal. She’s convinced that no one can ever replace her boyfriend. To make matters worse, this cousin of mine is the daughter of my favorite uncle who died in 2007, just three months after our grandfather’s death. She said it herself: she has no idea why she is so unlucky.
When I was my cousin’s age, my then-boyfriend broke up with me because he moved to Canada with his family. True, it was just puppy love, the relationship wasn’t serious, but the pain was real. I thought that I wouldn’t survive it until I realized later on that we’re not really meant for each other. Now, in retrospect, I’m even glad that the relationship ended because it paved the way for me to find a better, more deserving love.
But this still doesn’t compare to my cousin’s experience. It was too much for such a young age. It will leave her scarred for a very long time. My only wish right now is that she can, in due time, see the meaning of her boyfriend’s death. I hope that this teaches her a lesson–though whatever that might be, I have no idea. Above all, I wish for her to be strong and surpass this challenge. My cousin is a beautiful, smart and kind girl. She doesn’t need any more experiences like this. I just want her to be happy.
Filed under: adventures, family, friends, life, randomness, rants, travelling
Tomorrow, I’ll be going back to Davao City. It will be my cousin’s 18th birthday next week and my grandmother wants to go there for a visit. She tagged me and my brother along and since we both have free schedules, we decided to come with her.
I’ve been to Davao twice before and it’s always been a favorite destination of mine. The last time we were there, we went to the beautiful island of Samal. I want to return to that paradise; but first, I had to ask my grandmother about our plans. She told me, flat out, that she has no plans of going swimming. I completely understand where she comes from–not to be judgmental or anything, but I know that old people like her are no longer interested in the sun and the sand. They would rather stay home and relax. I conceded and added that going to the beach is indeed costly (and I have no intentions of spending my backpay, thank you very much). Still, I couldn’t help but compare traveling with my family and my friends.
In a nutshell, traveling with the family is carefree. My parents always shoulder the expenses from the travel fees to the food to the souvenirs. I can always rest assured that I will have a comfortable bed in a nice cozy hotel somewhere. The downside of this, however, is that my family isn’t always ready to jump into every fun activity. They take a lot of considerations before they make any decisions. For example, we went snorkeling in the middle of the ocean during my Palawan trip with my friends. I could never do that with my family because they would fret about the risks. My mother is also irrationally scared of the open water so no amount of pleading from my part will ever convince her to take a leap of faith, so to speak, from the boat and into the sea. All in all, traveling with my family may be financially secured, but it can be quite boring.
On the other hand, going to places with my friends is more exciting yet unnerving. We need to settle for budget deals or go “backpacking” in order to save money. The places we stay in can be quite small and ordinary. When we were in Palawan, we stayed in an old pension house that has a slight musky smell, has no air-condition, and has no bathrooms for every room. My parents would never agree to that kind of arrangement. But traveling with friends translates to having a hell lot of fun. They are ready to take the same risks as I am; they want to have an adventure. I can always count on my friends to try every death-defying activity, ride any rickety form of transport and run, hike, climb, swim and dive to every spot I want to go to in the name of adventure. The only downside of this is that the thought of the budget for the remainder of the trip always looms at the back of my head.
Ultimately, I must say that I’m feeling positive about this trip. This would be my only vacation for the rest of the summer and I want to spend every minute of it having fun. Now, excuse me while I go pack up.
Those are the 10 Canine Commandments. I saw the photo on Tumblr but I don’t know who made it. Still, I’d like to extend my gratitude to you who came up with this. These commandments have raised my awareness and opened my eyes about the probable perceptions of a dog.
Oh, and yes, it makes me tear up every time I read it. It reminds me of my shortcomings to my first pet dog, who passed away four years ago. She was a Japanese Spitz named “Ariel” and she was given to me when I was only four years old. She was my companion and my “best friend” for 14 long years. I loved her with all of my heart but I was young and irresponsible; I couldn’t give her the best of care. However, when she died, it was very painful for me. I cried many times over it.
After years of being dog-less, I finally decided that it’s time for me to have a new companion. Here he is:
His name is Mochi, a Shih Tzu. He’s about 2 months old. This little furball is very active and playful. Above all, he’s very affectionate. He won’t stop following me around–that’s why I call him my “tiny and furry shadow”. When I took him in, I realized that I’m not only doing this because I wanted a new pet. In a way, I also want to make up for all of my flaws in taking care of Ariel. I wanted to give myself a new chance at this. Thankfully, aside from being more mature and responsible, I now have my own means of providing for Mochi’s every need.
Here’s to looking forward to all the fun years with my new baby.
Last time, I said that the road I call “my career” is still under construction. Now, I’ve think it’s finally ready to be paved.
I have found the job that I really want. I went there for an interview and albeit shocking, it went well. I’m not worried about whether I did a good job in the interview and the exam, because I know I did. What worries me is that there are surely others who have more extensive qualifications and have performed better than me. There looms the possibility that my dream job will be given to them. Paranoia is hangs heavily in the air.
I’ve never ached for any job like this before in my life. So, Universe, please, please, please let me get what I want this time.
Filed under: childhood, life, music, randomness | Tags: a1, ben adams, christian ingebrigsten, mark read
It’s like being 10 years old all over again.
Flashback to year 2000. There was a girl who happened to pass by the TV set and saw a British band doing a rendition of the popular A-ha song, “Take On Me”. The girl noticed the lead singer named Ben Adams, and he really piqued her interest. A few weeks later, she saw another video called “Same Old Brand New You”. By this time, she was already hooked to their music, and that’s when she became a fan of a1.
She had no money so she had to beg her mother to buy her posters of the band, which she later stuck to the walls of her bedroom. Having no budget, she had to work her charm to convince her grandmother to buy her the cassette tapes. She collected the albums and learned all the lyrics by heart. During her free time, she would tune in to MTV and Channel V and wait for the band’s videos to come up. There even came a time when she would gaze at Ben Adam’s photos upon waking up in the morning and before going to bed at night. Heck, she even prayed to marry this guy someday. And by this time, she was addicted.
Then a1 went into indefinite hiatus. The boyband fever died, and the girl’s musical interests also changed.
Let’s go back to 2012. The band was coming back to the Philippines for another big concert. And the girl didn’t let the chance go by–she went there. She saw her puppy love, Ben Adams, in person and in flesh–if not up close and personal. She, along with hundreds of others, sang, shouted and danced their hearts out for the boyband that once made them happy. Every minute of that hour was absolutely priceless.
And so, a1, thank you for giving us a wonderful night. You did not only keep us entertained; you brought back something special, and that is the memory of our simple childhood, the great friends, the beautiful music. I have loved you since 2000 until now, and I’m sure that I will way into the future.
Your voice has always been a part of my childhood. The world will miss you and your raw and pure talent.
In pace, requiescat.
Filed under: family, life, randomness | Tags: ABBA, CCP, Mamma Mia, Manila
We all know the story. In a tiny, picturesque Greek island, twenty-year old Sophie Sheridan is about to get married. Like any other bride, she wants her father to walk her down the aisle. Problem is, she has no idea who her father is and her mother, Donna, has no intentions of telling her. By secretly reading Donna’s diary, Sophie learns that she has three possible dads and she invites them all to her wedding. The rest, shall I say, is an unexpected and tasteful story of family, love and music that leaves everybody spellbound.
My mother has seen Mamma Mia! on Broadway when she was in New York a couple of years back. She’s always babbling about it and I didn’t pay much attention. When I learned that the world’s number one musical will come to Manila, that’s when I really listened to my mother’s comments.
Mother said that Mamma Mia! was one of the most amazing, if not the best, musical she’s ever seen. Today, I proved that it was true. She said that it’s a feel good show that can still make you tear up. I promised that I wouldn’t cry, but I realized that I was shamelessly crying by the end of the show. She said that by the time the cast were singing Dancing Queen, then people would unanimously stand up and dance to the beat. I did that too, but in the confines of my seat because the aisles in CCP were a bit cramped. But I cried and I danced and I sang along with everyone.
I didn’t expect myself to react this way to such a musical . I saw Cats in 2010. It has no plot but the music was great, the choreography entertaining and the acrobatics absolutely electrifying. But Cats lacks the usual ingredients of a story that people can relate to. Mamma Mia! has the familiar themes of love, family, defeat, success and self-discovery that people look for in plays. That’s what makes it the world’s number one.
I have the utmost respect for the stage actors. Their execution was unbelievably perfect. I half-expected some of them to miss their step or forget their lines but I was reminded that they were professional Broadway actors who were trained to be flawless in their performances. For some reason, I also kept imagining Meryl Streep as the one playing Donna Sheridan and that made me enjoy her numbers immensely.
What I loved most about the show is the way they made use of ABBA’s songs. They artfully and very skillfully wove the songs into the story without making them sound forced. They were tailor-made for the play. Not an ABBA fan? No need to worry; you really don’t need to know the lyrics of The Winner Takes It All or Super Trouper to appreciate the show. The story, the characters and the stage design are enough to keep you entranced from the first up to the last number.
I highly recommend this to everyone. Better hurry up though. The musical only runs in Manila until February 19. You won’t regret watching it one bit. I didn’t–but I’ll make sure that the next time I see this, it’ll be on Broadway or the West End.
“So I say, thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing. Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty, what would life be? Without a song or dance, what are we? So I say, thank you for the music for giving it to me.”
- “Thank You For The Music”, ABBA
Tell me, how do people know their true calling, career-wise? Do you set your mind on it based on a childhood ambition? Do you need to have some form of a reverie? Do you need to undergo a certain near-death, life-changing experience? Or do some people, sadly, never hear their calling at all?
I’m at this point in my life called the “road under construction”. It’s not a crossroad because I really have no solid options to choose from. It’s not exactly a dead-end; I haven’t reached that level of pessimism yet. But I must say that this is really terrifying for me. I’ve finally become unhappy and dissatisfied with my job. It seems that I’m looking for more. A higher salary, maybe. Better office, yes. Career growth, definitely. But what is there to grow when I have no idea which career path to take?
The boyfriend tells me to relax and don’t worry about it too much. After all, I’m still young and I’ve yet to realize what I want to do in life. But I have this sick feeling that I’m wasting time constructing the wrong road. I don’t want that to happen.
So, to my true calling, please, I’m waiting for you. I’m all ears.
